Why is it sometimes so difficult to create the life we really want?

I was watching the England match last night when one of the commentators said that the players

simply had to keep doing the right things, and eventually they would get a result.

And, in the end, they did.

It made me think that perhaps life ought to work in much the same way. If we keep doing the right things, surely we should eventually arrive somewhere close to the life we want.

But how many of us manage to do that consistently?

I know I don’t.

The difference is that footballers only have to maintain that focus for ninety minutes — or perhaps 120 if the match goes into extra time.

They also have coaches, trainers, physiotherapists, nutritionists and all kinds of other people helping them prepare, correcting them when they go wrong and encouraging them to keep going.

Of course, that brings pressures of its own. But most of us don’t have anything like that kind of support in our ordinary lives.

We are expected to motivate ourselves, decide which direction to take, learn the skills we need, look after our health, recover from disappointments and somehow remain hopeful — often while also working, caring for others and dealing with everything life unexpectedly puts in our way.

And where were we ever taught how to do all that?

When were we handed the guidebook entitled, How to Build a Happy, Loving and Fulfilling Life?

Perhaps there isn’t one.

Sometimes, however, what we need is not somebody to tell us exactly what to do, but someone who will sit beside us for a while.

Someone who will listen, help us understand where we are, remind us of what matters to us and gently help us discover the next right step.

Just two women talking together over tea

That is often why people come to me.

We sit together — perhaps with a cup of tea or coffee — and talk about life. About what has become difficult, what may have been lost along the way, and how life might begin to feel happier, more loving, more meaningful or more fulfilling.

And then, little by little, we try to put some of those right things into practice.

Because that is what I do.

And it brings me a great deal of joy.

What is one “right thing” you know would help you move towards the life you want?